Rose Madrid-Swetman

— Random Thoughts, Stories of Life, and Questions about the Journey —


February 3, 2009

Ted Haggard

Category: All Posts – Rose – 7:05 pm

I didn’t see Ted Haggard on Oprah or Nightline or Larry King. My first thought when I heard he had been on these shows is that it seemed too soon for him to be in public. It seemed too soon from the standpoint of recovery. These kinds of situations usually take years of healing before a person is ready to go public. A couple of good posts are here and here.

3 Comments »

  1. Thanks for the link Rose. 🙂

    Comment by grace — February 4, 2009 @ 8:33 am

  2. I didn’t see all of the interviews, Rose, just the one on Oprah. I was glad that I had a chance to see it and hear both Ted and Gayle share. I think it is a part of the healing process both for them and others. Their story is worth being heard, even in this part of their journey. The idea of keeping them under-wraps, in seclusion, until they are deemed healed enough to talk seems controlling to me. They honestly had some pretty significant things to share. I wish more were listening.

    Comment by Chad Estes — February 12, 2009 @ 9:39 pm

  3. I watched both of the inerviews of Ted as well as the HBO documentary. For Ted and Gail he chose the right thing for his wife and family. She loves him and he her which is a good thing that far surpasses addiction and passion which is what Ted was dealing with most of the time. Except when he used his position of power to influence another young man regarding sex,

    As to recovery and healing. This issue is so complex and to say healed is really not telling the truth. Men and women who deal with this issue really never stop being attracted to men and women of their own sex. What they stop doing is either relating as gay men and lesbians or stop the act of sex with another. Like many things with time and distance many of the drives no longer lead their daily lives. But every leader in the ex gay movement will tell you they are still attracted to men and women of their gender.

    For Ted he has his family to work with and be present to him and walk him through this part of the journey. But the reality for most Christian men and women dealing with the issue of homosexuality is they are on their own. There may be programs like Living Waters to help but a couple of problems persist with that.

    First most will not partake on the journey of marriage because they know that they would not be able to love the other in the way he or she needed and deserved. Many have but sadly this has been very problematic for most. And it is the spouse that has to pay the high price for most of these marriages do not succeed.

    Second is the mandatory requirement of celibacy required for anyone dealing with this issue, In the evangelical church celibacy is a requirement for men and women who have homosexual leaningings. And yet as the Scripture says it is a gift a calling, And I find it interesting that so often this is fostered by men (pastors) who do not deal with this issue and many time have a strong disgust about it.

    But getting to a point Ted was loved and had a family that loves him always a good thing. And Ted’s story really deals with addiction not homosexuaity. So what do you say to those who live with this issue and know they are not called to celibacy? They desire to love another and settle down and possibly raise a family. For many in the evangelical church it is impossible for two people of the same sex to actually love. For homosexuality is demonized such that only the act of sex is seen and when the subject matter is broached this is what first comes up in the eyes of the believer.

    Honestly a new dialogue needs to begin on this issue. But so often on both sides reaction, anger, judgement is guiding the conversation. A look at the reality of what it means to be a person with same sex attractions in the church needs to be seriously looked at. As well as what does Scripture say about this hot topic issue.

    Case in point Sodom and Gomorrah when mentioned to almost anyone is about homosexuality. But a closer reading and an honest evaluation about it tells a whole different stroy. The angels or visitors are seen as trouble in the community (as well as the neighbor/stranger Lot). All the men young and old came not to actually have sex with them but defile them, rape them and shame them which was a common practice in those days and times to peoples enemies real or perceived. And to say all the men in Sodom where homosexual is just a bit much, which most of us I think would agree with. I bring it up for points of engagement and dialogue trying to dispel myths in the church that continue to lead the church down a direction that God never intended.

    Now to be honest I am one of those people who has dealt with being gay and a believer in Christ. I have lived with this issue in the church (mostly the Vineyard) for 22 years. And sadly many of my brothers and sisters now disregard my faith because their faith belief will not allow men and women to say that they can be gay and Christian which I adhered to for all those years. And to be honest I know this makes them uncomfortable and instead of coming to the table in honest discourse most have ignored, and written me off. Why, because it is a subject matter that they just do not want to hoestly and truthfully look at and address. Anyone up for discourse?

    Comment by jeff — May 3, 2009 @ 9:40 am

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