Rose Madrid-Swetman

— Random Thoughts, Stories of Life, and Questions about the Journey —


March 26, 2012

Lenten Reflection Week 4 & 5

Category: All Posts,Lent/Easter,Stories of Life – Rose – 9:40 am

More thoughts on the wilderness journey. In the past two weeks the wilderness has felt more like an emotional white water rapids trip. The risks involved in white water rafting are caused by both environmental dangers and improper behaviors. Environmental dangers such as fallen trees, dams, rocks, and waterfalls. Improper behaviors such as inexperience and not using a guide, rafting while intoxicated and panic in dangerous situations.

There are so many environmental dangers both in the wilderness and in the white water. Finding safety as I continue this journey means training, trusting experienced guides and not panicking when thrown out of the raft. In fact when out of the raft, swimming to a calm spot behind a rock is protocol.

Last week I had a dream. In my dream I was in a large house with small children. I could see a storm, a whirlwind or tornado coming. I knew that I could not out run it. As it approached I realized the only safe place was to step into the eye of the storm, that there I would find calm and not be hurt. It was counterintuitive, I wanted to run with the children from the danger. I knew without a doubt if I stayed outside of the center the outer edges of the storm would destroy everything in its path, including me and the children. I was so afraid but as it approached I grabbed the kids and stepped into the center of the storm. It was instantly calm as the whirlwind carried us and then set us down. We were safe. Dream ends.

I have no control over the elemental dangers that come. The truth is, in this lenten season I have learned how little control I have over much at all.

In a Jan Richardson’s book, “Sacred Journeys” I read a meditation on anger and tenderness. Here is part of the reflection I sit with as the white water of anger rages in my soul:

“Anger is a woman who has learned
that pleasantness
is not the way to peacefulness,
that silence
is not the way to strength.”

Swimming to the Rock, stepping into the Center of the storm, relinquishing control over and over, that what this Lenten journey is teaching me.

1 Comment »

  1. Once when sitting in a congregation at the local AME church I kept hearing a small deep down sound. Not like the loud” Amen’s” or “Oh yes” or “Jesus Jesus” swimming around me. It was an underneath sound but I wanted to know what it was. It was a deep soft “um hum.” The sound of someone not only hearing the message but connecting with the message somewhere deep in their soul and closing their eyes and from their heart and center the agreeing “um hum, um hum” softly bubbled forth. When I read these words I find myself connecting to your heart and journey and as if you were in the room speaking I close my eyes and nod my head and the soft deep rich “um hum” of I am with you comes out. It is the connection of praying that I believe causes my heart to knit to yours. I continue to pray as always and I say, “um hum.”

    Comment by Theresa Hanson — March 26, 2012 @ 10:04 am

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