On Saturday, I celebrated my 65^th birthday surrounded by family and friends. What a time to be alive. A theme for my life has been, “Joy and sorrow are sisters; they live in the same house.” Macrina Wiederkehr

There have been enormous losses—loss of family members, friends, relationships. Losses through natural life change as my kids have grown into adulthood—loss of dreams, hopes, and much more. But, one thing is true for us all; time does not standstill. Time marches on, and with it, nothing stays the same.

Circumstances, both out of my control and by my own choices, have shaped me. I was raised in an Italian-Mexican-Roman Catholic family. If you have seen the movie, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, welcome to my world. I went to twelve years of Catholic school and graduated at age 17. I was married four months later. I had two children by age 23. By age 28, I was in the middle of a divorce, excommunicated from a church, and fighting for custody of my children. I raised my first two children as a single mom.

At age 40, I married Rich. His five children, my two, and our son together made us a family-like Eight is Enough, or, Yours, Mine and Ours. We will celebrate our 25^th anniversary in December. Rich and I met through heartbreaking circumstances mixed with miraculous moments. Through the years, we have experienced crushing sorrow. The kind of sorrow that causes you to groan deeply in your sleep. The type of sorrow that feels like you are in a fog and can barely hear the rest of the world. We also experienced the heights of joy, and at times that joy was happening at the exact moment as an unimaginable loss.

“Joy seems to me a step beyond happiness—happiness is a sort of atmosphere you can live in sometimes when you’re lucky. Joy is a light that fills you with hope and faith, and love.”
Adela Rogers St. Johns, Some are Born Great

Today as I recount the shaping moments of my life thus far, I am thankful. I have learned to embrace all the parts of my story. God has been in every bright light and every dark shadow. Sometimes it seemed God was absent, didn’t care. But the truth is, God was there and continues doing what God does best, liberating, rescuing, and healing.

In this time of shaking, upheaval and disorientation, where do you find joy? Can you hold two things at once? Can you look back at the losses you have experienced and find any meaning-making in and through them? For me, many times as I ‘remember’ my story and God’s faithfulness to me, it cultivates faith, blows on the embers of hope, and grounds me in God’s love. Like so many, I am in the midst of change. A new chapter is just beginning. The future is filled with uncertainty, and much is unknown. As new maps and structures arise for the way forward, may we all be paying attention to how we are being called forth in this time.